


Mr. and Mrs. Toaster

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [117]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam still kind of wants toast, Cas is in love with a toaster, Crack, Dean is So Done, Lucifer Being a Dick, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 18:44:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2398889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer decides that the family toaster needs a little more love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. and Mrs. Toaster

Adam is very much looking forward to a nice breakfast of buttered toast and scrambled eggs, then he sees Castiel kissing the toaster and _licking_ its handle and muttering sweet nothings into its grate. “Well, that’s disturbing.”

 

“You’re telling me?” Dean shoots back. “He’s been like this all morning. _Apparently_ , one of his brothers thought it would be absolutely hilarious if he fell in love with a toaster.”

 

Adam can’t help but giggle. “He’s in love with a toaster?”

 

“Go on, ask him how he feels about her,” Sam says around a mouthful of cereal.

 

“Hey, Cas? Cas, is that your new toaster friend?” Adam asks as he reaches past the angel for the pop tarts.

 

“She’s my soul mate,” Cas answers dreamily. “We were _meant_ to be.”

 

“What about Dean?” Adam asks, pointing to his fuming brother.

 

“No.”

 

“That’s it,” Dean shouts. “Lucifer, get down here right this instant or I swear to God-”

 

“No need to shout, Dean,” Lucifer interrupts with an infuriating smirk. “And with that attitude, I’ll never turn him back.”

 

“Listen to me, you-”

 

Lucifer holds up a finger. “Mika says that if you want something, you have to say please.”

 

Dean closes his eyes and silently wonders how the Lucifer in front of him could possibly be the same archangel that had demanded good-night kisses and bed-time hugs and “Just one last ‘I love you,’ please, Dean,” just yesterday. “Come on, Luce. _Please._ Change him back. I’m begging you.”

 

Lucifer starts to stroke his chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm, I don’t know.”

 

Dean tries to be patient, he really does, but all he can think is, “How the fuck did Michael deal with you when you were a child?” He doesn’t say that, though, because he knows it’ll hurt Lucifer’s feelings, which will make Michael angry, which will make Adam testy, which will set of Gabriel, which will make Sam more bitchy than he usually is. He turns around, ready to give up on the conversation entirely and order Michael to deal with it, when he sees Cas trying to hump the toaster. “Luce,” he says, slowly and calmly, as if he were talking to a child. “Lucifer, look at him. He’s going to hurt himself if he keeps doing that, and then he’ll cry, and do you _really_ want to see your baby brother cry?”

 

Lucifer sighs, and Castiel steps away from the toaster.

 

“Dean,” Cas says. “Dean, why was I trying to make love to a toaster?” The angel asks, pointing one shaking finger at the offending appliance.

 

“Shh, it was just a dream, Cas,” Dean soothes. “Let’s get you back to bed. You won’t remember this in the morning, I promise.”

 

Adam watches them leave for a moment before frowning. “Is it weird that I still kinda want toast?”


End file.
